should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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