we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
