yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
