It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
