just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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