Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this will be a night to untag.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
