he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
