We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
