im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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