i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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