is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize