just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
