Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
