let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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