we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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