Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
