Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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