I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
