Your face is a jimmy john
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Randomize
