when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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