Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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