Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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