I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
