If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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