dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
