just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
