Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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