how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
