I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
