glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
