You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
