Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize