it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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