he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
