I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
