My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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