you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize