if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I didn't notice because vodka
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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