Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
