is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize