I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
