She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
