We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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