She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
