just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize