she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
