He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
