they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
