you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
