I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
