did you get engaged???
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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