So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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