so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
