she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
