haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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