the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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