Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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