she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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